Family Crisis and Moving Out Jazz

Sitting here.....letting all the information sink in....I feel quite blank so I just deal with things. Okay thats such a vague statement.

Well the year of 2009 will definitely be a brand new start for me, as I will be moving to Airdrie hopefully in January. Well I got my sights on a private let at £250 a month, fair enough its only a studio flat but it would be a temporary place to live til I got on my feet. Also it would test if me and Andy are suited for each other I guess, because we getting the little place together hopefully.

Although....you think...why am I moving out in January?

Well the sucky thing is, my step mum is leaving with my 16year old step sister and my 11year old brother to a flat in Ardrossan that womens aid has provided until she gets a house. Things are that bad with my dad and her that she is leaving, I dont really blame her and I want her to go for the sake of her own happiness. Although thinking this doesnt make the situation any easier, I mean I feel all meh whenever I look at my doggies as they will be left with him and my cat too.

The main thing is, I will be ok when I do get out of here.

Computer Bits Breaking

Bleh....it really sucks when you realise that your laptop is ready for dying altogether,well at least be breaking down bit by bit. The laptop speakers are gone on it, and audio input for speakers is gone. The backlight to the screen is flickering off and on every once in a while...so i figured its eventually going to die, that when the motherboard got replaced, it was giving my laptop another year to live.
My dad has given me his spare computer, which isnt much better.....hence why it was a spare. I have it plugged up and using my tv as a monitor...which is kinda big. The only problem with this computer is that it just decides every once in a while, 'Oh I think I will be a pain in the ass and stop responding and mess up all the stuff you are doing'.

So Im sitting here...wondering if I should just buy a new laptop after christmas, maybe get one in the January sales, nothing special really...just one that works and is a bit better than my current one.

The Stuffs

Well...I managed to get cure of the bacterial infection that appeared to take over my jaw, thats twice its happened to me now and its bloody pain! So hopefully no more swollen jaws in life unless someone tries to knock me out, but theres a slim chance that will happen.

So today Im going to the doctors....to see whats up, they must love this time of year because so many people I know are getting ill! mind you it keeps the doctors in business I suppose.

Well...Ive been doing an essay, its been quite interesting as its based on personality :) its just a small thing I've to do. I will be really excited to do this kind of study in 4th year as my honours project, although hopefully my supervisor will think that what angle I want to do the study will be ok :) So I will be leaving my really warm house tomorrow to go hand it in, I really wished they would make things electronic but its the joys of it having to be anonymous.

Im hoping to get down to Andys this weekend if I feel alright, as its his birthday this weekend. He's going to be 24! Im giving him the first and second series of NCIS, as he really likes that program :) plus I get to give him a mushy birthday card yay!

Although been talking to him recently about the idea of getting a little one-bedroom flat together, that way he is getting out of his house and Im getting out of mine. Yeah it means we have to pay bills and allsorts but it means we actually get to live our lives in peace. I imagine it being quite cozy living with him :) We even imagined what the rooms would be like as well...it was cute! I know its easier to talk about it than actually doing it, but maybe next year we will get started. Thing is...even if we weren't going out, I think we would still end up sharing a house as best mates :D

Well.....its only two weeks to christmas now, Im a bit excited because Im a big kid of course. Our christmas decorations are up in the living room as well! They look awesome, they black and silver (how awesome).
Although anyone heard about the upside down tree.....and to think people though I was pulling their legs about it, when its actually real.



But anyways thats me done babbling for now :)

Christmas Christmas and Christmas!

All i keep thinking about is Christmas! Although it doesnt help when Im going christmas shopping every other day, wrapping presents up and writing out christmas cards. Truth is, it may be a hassle to alot of other people...oh spending sooo much money, but I LOVE christmas!
Well apart for the pandemonium in all the shops, and barely being able to walk a straight line anywhere, but I survive.
Today I was getting the last of my christmas shopping, wrapping paper and cards included....in Glasgow on a Saturday! But it took me 2hours to complete my mental christmas list that was in my head. So I was able to grab a Dark Cherry Mocha on the way to the train, and enjoy it as I thought how well I had done.
So I spent the rest of the night wrapping all the christmas presents I'd bought over the months, and to say its quite a cute bunch....since I was in the mood, I even wrapped some presents for my parents...since they always have soooo many presents for our family.....lots of nieces and nephews kicking around :oP
On Monday, I'm meeting up with my sister Lisa in Ayr, as we are going up to Dalmellington to give nana her presents. It will be good to see them, as I havent seen them since August. Although I was jealous because my nana was telling me that it had been snowing from 1pm a certain day through to 1pm the next day. We dont really get that here in Kilwinning, but I suppose Dalmellington is right up in the hills :oP
The only thing that is different this year is that I will be staying at Andys this year for boxing day which I really appreciate, as I usually go to my nanas for boxing day every year. This year she has my Uncle James staying with her whenever he isnt working, so there will be no room for me to stay. As I was being all, I've always went somewhere on boxing day, to Andy...he offered that I could come up to his! So Im all excited! It means I get to give Andy's family their presents on boxing day to open when Im there :D

18 days to go :oD

Feeling Alot Better

After a few sleepless nights, the swelling in my jaw has went down....thanks to antibiotics. I look normal again, well theres still a touch of swelling but I dont look as awful as I did in the last photo :)

So Im going into Glasgow today to do some christmas shopping, get the rest of it in......as I've already done half of it :D Still to put up my decorations, I've only put some tinsel up on my shelves, I now need to put it....everywhere else! :D My dogs had tinsel collars for a little while yesterday, it was so cute!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Argggghhh! Swollen jaw totally sucks!

So yeah I sit here with one side of my face swollen, it all started at my jaw joint.....but i wasnt to know that it would end up with me sitting here looking like someone has punched me in the jaw. I'm holding a hot water bottle as I type this blog one-handed, trying to soothe the pain a little.
Being in this predicament has left me being unable to open my teeth wide enough to consume food, and it hurts that much that swallowing soup is a difficult process. Although on the plus side, my teeth open wide enough to slot some painkillers into my mouth and take dribbles of liquid.
What is wrong with me, I dont know and I sure as hell hope it aint anything serious, but knowing my luck its probably and infected gland or something.
But here is how hellish i look..


So Im getting up early tomorrow and if the swelling hasnt miraculously disappeared over night Im going to give the doctors a phone, to see if they can maybe tell me whats caused this sudden inflammation. I do hope they can help me though, anti-biotics or whatever it is that will make this go down!

The Dog Gets A Mouthful

Well today I wasn't too pleased when I got a call from my Dad saying that our dog Conan decided to have a little nibble at the post, which just happened to have a parcel for me in it. Although the item wasn't for myself, it was a christmas present bought for a friend...so I was none too pleased. The thing that made it worse, was that it was ordered from the internet because I can't buy the game brand new in any of the game shops....so I searched on Amazon. I took a few photos to show you how much fun Conan had while having a chew.

The back of the game...


The front of the game....


What the corners look like when the case is open...


The tastiest bit...by the looks of it....


Just started to get his teeth into this corner.....I guess this was the point my parents got in the house...


Meh....one of those most annoying points in life, although my parents are buying me another copy off the internet, so its not all bad, but its not the point I guess....although I've always thought Conan to be the unintelligent one, as he just looks at you with a dumb look all the time...

Go figure...

A Photographic Opportunity

Well I thought it was pretty amazing how I came across a small photographic opportunity after a searching through google for photograph contests, that I would walk into my now favourite coffee shop...and they would have a small leaflet on their counter. I looked down at it as I waited for my Rolo Latte, and was amazed to see a leaflet advertising a photo competition.

When I went home, I found out more info about it on the internet and I felt like it was a perfect chance for me, somewhere to start....I may not win as there are many talented people out there that can take lovely photos.

Anyway, the deadline is next monday, although I am going into Glasgow on Thursday and Friday to take photos that will have some of my friends in them. I have to take five photos altogether and they have to be related to my favourite coffee shop, which I think I can manage. Even if I dont win, I will still have fun in trying and I can say...'at least I tried'. I cant wait to see!

Dreaming To Be A Photographer

Photography is one of my favourite hobbies, but I am getting the daft notion. If I was to ever own a really good camera, like the type you need to be professional...If I ever could be professional with photos, like just a small project...

Ahhh maybe its just a crazy notion,

An Early Morning Rise....

I'm sitting here feeling mentally tired, although I have been awake since the back of 4am. The joys of doing my usual middle of the night wander to the kitchen to get a drink, how was I to know that I would be too keyed up that my mind wouldn't let me get back to sleep. After spending the past couple of hours tossing and turning in my bed, trying to shut my mind down with music, I decided I might as well just get up. Fair enough its 7ish, which is really early when you dont exactly have anything planned ALL day, considering I usually sleep til at least 11ish. I just wonder what to get up to for the rest of the day. Last night I planned that I should sit back and chill today, after spending all day of yesterday walking.....yes, I went to Edinburgh Zoo and it was great.

Going to the zoo yesterday was definitely the best kind of pick-me-up after being all meh and sick in the middle of the week, although I hope for all the pain I caused my feet with that walking yesterday, that I have at least dropped a pound in weight ha ha.

I can't remember the last time I have been to the zoo, but it was good to go and see all the animals....they were all so wonderful. Although the zoo is on a steep hill that burned your legs when you walked up and around. Thing is that me and my friends knew that it was all uphill, and we still walked the 2miles from Haymarket train station to the zoo, which was relatively easy task since it was a straight walk. But I didn't expect the walk to last for about 30minutes before we even got there!
I was happy all day, even when my feet moaned at me..but mainly because I was taking photos of all the pretty animals. I got really good photos of the tiger, I was really pleased as I love tigers!

I must admit, I took over 300 photos...yes I know that sounds bad, not all of them are good quality so I just assured myself with taking plenty of photos of each animal I saw. You have to admit, this is a really pretty photo. I have great photos of him faraway as well...although this one wins!
Another animal that I managed to get great photos of were the penguins, who my friend claire, fell in love with. I thought we were never going to get her away from them. Although there was windows were you could see them swimming under water, and she made friends with one as he kept coming back to her....and he caught her heart!

Thats not him though, but I thought I would show you the photo I got of a penguin. They were really cool, also they did a parade which I caught photos of...I've never seen anything like it! I got a few second clip of them parading he he. All my animal videos will be going on youtubes of course!

After we were finished with the zoo, we got a bus back to Princes Street which is in the heart of Edinburgh, that is where you get to see the Edinburgh castle which is pretty awesome to look at...Edinburgh is a pretty city as it has so many things that you can look at!


We done a small shopping trip after we had some food, although by 6pm my feet were officially burning, I could have sworn I had no soles left ha ha. So I was really happy to get sitting down on the comfy train to Glasgow! I visited my friend Bob and Kayleigh afterwards, and we watched a film which was pretty sweet!

After a long but awesome day, I was soooo glad to get home! I was that tired that I could probably passed out at my desk last night. I dont understand how I cant get back to sleep, since I felt so knackered....but hey I dont know how the body works ha ha.

On the last note, my mum would have been 48years old yesterday if she was still alive, as it was her birthday. Such an awesome person she was....I love her with all my heart and soul!

Sickness and all that Jazz...Oh and a bit of Christmas spirit

Well sitting here...finally on the mend, I didnt even feel like myself yesterday in my waking hours, must have been a walking zombie because i sure did feel like it.
So yeah, I had to catch the sickness and diarhoea bug didnt I, the one that is swarming by everyone recently. Although feeling a bit blah, all the physical symptoms have vanished.

Although my friend Kayleigh is insisting I get some fresh air, and give her company to the shops in Glasgow to cheer myself up a bit. Although I might look at new christmas decorations for my little tree as my decorations are somewhat getting old. Although very unsure what colour to get, but decorations are shiny and glittery....I'll see what i can get and try not go too nuts, but everyone knows how much I like things that sparkle :)

Although take care everyone, I hope you dont get this bug, its awful!

My dogs....aren't they lovely?

I'm in the mood to show my dogs off a bit more, as I have some stunning photos of them :-


This is Missie lying on top of my cushions, always likes to make herself comfy in my room :)


Missie looking at me as I think I was eating food before I took this photo...she looks like shes been starved, I ensure you she is well and truly spoiled!


This is me using Missie as a pillow, while shes having a chew on my hand...that was the only way I could get her to keep still for the photo.


Missie at christmas 2007, looking adorable in her way of wanting attention ha ha :)


This is when we first got Conan, he makes Missie look like a pup as he is much bigger than her, especially in the head department :)


Conan lying out our backdoor, enjoying the summer sun :)


One of my favourite photos, where Missie and Conan look like a couple...they do act like husband and wife....it is very cute! Here it looks like Missie has her head on Conan's shoulder like a lady would :)

Bonfire Night...bleh!

November 5th, it is getting mentioned so many times now. Is that why i feel so down recently, or is it my imagination....is it possible for these things to affect you subconciously that you dont even realise that you are suffering.
It has been five years now, and as others say...it does get easier over time. It is still there like a tug on the heart, that just sets the memories and the tears off.
The fireworks as pretty as they are, whenever I see them I freeze like a deer caught in headlights as I feel the coldness seep slowly into me, the numbness.
Although I try and stay strong, and embrace the night with merriness. Try and bring some happiness into myself on the unhappiest anniversary of the year I know. I put a front on for others, try and shut my mind so that they dont worry.

I wonder what this Bonfire Night will be like.

My Bullmastiffs Are Wonderful

You know those days, where you feel a little bit lonely.....Well my two dogs Missie and Conan are wonderful to cuddle into, they are soooo warm and fuzzy.


The above photo shows Conan pressing his head against mine, cuddling into me.


Again...Conan lying on my legs, he looks so daft. Although I dont really have any photos of me and Missie as she doesnt seem to be as photogenic as Conan is...


Here is Missie, sleeping outside my bedroom door.

And thats all.

The Xbox 360

So....I have recently been wanting a xbox 360, even though I said in a previous post that its not like me. Although there are no disadvantages to me getting one I think...well apart from that I play mostly racing games :P But on the money side, I have money saved in a separate account from the money I use daily......So........I think I'm buying one, yes it costs alot of money, but what doesnt. So I will be down almost 300quid by the time i buy this, but I'll be ok as I get my loan next week, and as I said, I have money in my usual account that will do me until I get my loan....

Its either that, or I squander the money away on nothing.

Favourite TV shows

I keep looking through my interests, and I am annoyed that there isnt a section for tv shows as I prefer these to films. Since I can't rattle them out there, Im just going to write a little list of what i like :)

• House
• Scrubs
• Family Guy
• Sex and The City
• Mighty Boosh
• Two and a Half Men
• Will and Grace
• Friends
• KIng of Queens

That's all there is for the moment.....I've written some of these in my christmas list for my friends to buy, so will be happy to get them. Although I noticed when I was in Glasgow yesterday that the 4th season of House is out, oh how I itched to buy it!


Hugh Laurie is one of the main reasons I love House, I suppose it should be since he is Dr. House, but there is just something about his character that makes me laugh when I watch the episodes. Even though he is an older man, I find him somewhat charming and attractive, even though he may be a cold hearted man in the show...well thats how he shows himself isn't it.

As well as tv shows I like certain comedians, although it is not many so far

• Billy Connolly
• Lee Evans
• Bill Bailey
• Chris Rock

I have nearly all of Billy Connolly's dvds, two of Chris Rock's, one of Bill Baileys and I need to start collecting Lee Evans.

Autumn Is Here!

Photograph taken by myself, editted on Photoshop 7 :)

So yes the autumn is here, I smile as I kick the leaves as I walk through them. I look at the wonderful bright colours of the falling leaves. Surely the air is much colder and the darkness of the night set in much earlier. Although I dont let this get me down, because it means it will be christmas soon!

The Eventful Day of Broken Headphones and the Adventures of the Urinating Woman

As you can see my wonderful headphones broke, I was so gutted and in disbelief last night when it happened. All I was doing was taking the headphones from around my neck to place them on my head, but in the middle of the process all I heard was - SNAP! I looked at them.....and was like....no way!
Today was a trip to Glasgow, to go back to HMV to return my broken headphones and get new ones. Although I must admit when I was walking up to the train station in Kilwinning, I didnt expect to see a woman running from behind a wall to crouch down and pee right in front of my own eyes!At first I thought she was vomiting...then I realised she was peeing. I almost turned around to walk back, but then i decided just to walk with my eyes to the ground as there was a man behind me walking in the same direction. After the woman had finished relieving herself and went away, I spoke to the man about how shocked I was. I had a laugh saying that Im glad that I've seen worse on the internet, but his response to that was...'But you don't expect to see it in real life do you?'. Which is true I suppose.

Other than that, I had a good day at Glasgow...I bought some books from Waterstones, two paranormal fiction books and a book called 'The language of genes' by Steven Jones, I feel I need to improve my reading on more intellectual books..so this is a start. I also exchanged my headphones, the man was very nice about it and had a laugh about me going on how depressed I was at them being broken in a good humoured way.
Although anytime I'm in a game shop now, I keep eyeing up the xbox 360 and I really want to buy one......very unlike me, but it calls to me.

Oh while I'm typing away to you, I will show you a photo of the new hair....even though its no drastic change, but its purdy! :)

Do you like it?

Redhead No More

Yeah...I finally decided to dye my hair a different colour, since i've been dying my hair various shades of red since I was 15...with the occassional purple thrown in(but still looked red).
So tonight, I am no longer red......as I sit here with the dye in my hair ha ha.
You will see in a photo soon enough.....I can honestly say, Im using a colour I've never ever used before - hope you all like.

The obsession with weight?

I've been going to the gym, like for the past two weeks....so where in that equation can you gain 4pounds? I mean I didn't expect any miracle changes like dropping a stone in two weeks. A nice pound(lb) off my weight would be nice. Am I doing something wrong? I mean I dont believe in the cut out everything you eat kind of thing......I enjoy my food, I dont want to be obsessed that I feel guilty over eating a mini roll chocolate cake, I dont even eat alot of junk food...so I deserve to have a chocolatey treat.

Even in the disappointment, Im going to the gym to sweat my butt off.

The re-occurring back spasms...

Entering into the third week with this dull ache banding across my lower back, is becoming quite tedious. How was I to know that a bag I am so used to carrying would cause me so much strain on my back, that I can barely breathe when I struggle out of bed in the mornings. I may say that the spasms are slowly fading each week, but knowing me I can't keep myself at peace....will always do something to bring back the spasms again the next morning, hence why I sit here in the third week with my dull ache when it could have been gone a week ago.
I brought myself to square one a week ago when I decided that my back was feeling back to normal, of course I thought lets switch rooms with my younger sister. Not that I was thinking that my back would be under any strain...silly me. The few days suffering from the pain, I decided to visit the doctor...not something I would do so regularly. All they could advise for muscle strain was some pain killers and a visit to the gym to work my muscles into healing themselves....telling me something I already knew....I was hoping for at least a prescription of Co-codamol or something but nothing. Not focusing on the pain killers, I paid attention to the gym I have recently been attending to gain a healthier feeling for myself.

I noticed that the gym was helping my back, although that wasn't my purpose in going...as I have already mentioned, merely killing two birds with the one stone. While trying to help the muscles in my back, I have also been trying to lose a small bit of weight..although not a drastic ambition. People have been saying, 'oh you don't need to do that, you look just fine!', I am aware that I look fine but I don't feel comfortable in clothes that are becoming fairly snug on me. The tight clothes may appeal to others but I want to be able to breathe in my tops and feel comfortable, yes some tight tops are cool but not in the, 'I've put on weight kind of tightness'. So yeah....I don't want to be skinny or anything, I just want to tone up that's all....as I do enjoy my curves...the fragile stick thin look isn't sexually appealing in my nature....on me. Others can look fabulous with that look, I envy them yes, but its still not me.

To wrap it up, I hope that after this week that my back pain will go away, as I'm tired of feeling like an old lady in the morning

Delicious SkullCandy Headphones

I fell in love with these as soon as I seen their shininess on another person...how cool they looked! Usually I am not a materialistic person, but I felt the urge to buy these, the decision made in my mind!
Eventually I found them in HMV, even though they cost like £32.99 I wasn't deterred from buying my lovely funky headphones. They are a part of me now, even when Im not listening to music, they are usually around my neck like an accessory.
They are well worth the price, as they have very good sound, which someone like me needs...as I was born with partial hearing....headphones and all were sometimes a problem. The other good thing about these headphones, is that they fold away neatly in your bag so you dont even need to worry about them getting broken or crushed by the items in your bag!

They are well worth it...enough for me to show my love for them he he! :D

The first Hazo blog

Sitting here....words buzzing around my mind as I wonder what to write, as there is so much and so little to say.

I'm a 21year old girl, the average kind(nothing special). Im quite tall and have my hair dyed red and I have blue eyes(so now you have a vague description of me) . I go to University to study Psychology, although this doesnt mean that I automatically know how to analyse people, as many assume. Although I am a good listener and like getting to know people well.
Apart from University, I dont get up to many antics....I mainly pass time reading various different kinds of books, or watching funny tv episodes...or tv series like House, which is my favourite right now. I also visit DeviantART alot, as I use photoshop to make colourful photos which is much fun.

Right now Im stuck in the house, with back pain, i know it sucks having it at like 21, but I have it...so makes life a wee bit more painful, had it for a week and wish it would go away! But I will sit here and wonder what I can get up to......