Bonfire Night...bleh!

November 5th, it is getting mentioned so many times now. Is that why i feel so down recently, or is it my imagination....is it possible for these things to affect you subconciously that you dont even realise that you are suffering.
It has been five years now, and as others say...it does get easier over time. It is still there like a tug on the heart, that just sets the memories and the tears off.
The fireworks as pretty as they are, whenever I see them I freeze like a deer caught in headlights as I feel the coldness seep slowly into me, the numbness.
Although I try and stay strong, and embrace the night with merriness. Try and bring some happiness into myself on the unhappiest anniversary of the year I know. I put a front on for others, try and shut my mind so that they dont worry.

I wonder what this Bonfire Night will be like.

My Bullmastiffs Are Wonderful

You know those days, where you feel a little bit lonely.....Well my two dogs Missie and Conan are wonderful to cuddle into, they are soooo warm and fuzzy.


The above photo shows Conan pressing his head against mine, cuddling into me.


Again...Conan lying on my legs, he looks so daft. Although I dont really have any photos of me and Missie as she doesnt seem to be as photogenic as Conan is...


Here is Missie, sleeping outside my bedroom door.

And thats all.

The Xbox 360

So....I have recently been wanting a xbox 360, even though I said in a previous post that its not like me. Although there are no disadvantages to me getting one I think...well apart from that I play mostly racing games :P But on the money side, I have money saved in a separate account from the money I use daily......So........I think I'm buying one, yes it costs alot of money, but what doesnt. So I will be down almost 300quid by the time i buy this, but I'll be ok as I get my loan next week, and as I said, I have money in my usual account that will do me until I get my loan....

Its either that, or I squander the money away on nothing.

Favourite TV shows

I keep looking through my interests, and I am annoyed that there isnt a section for tv shows as I prefer these to films. Since I can't rattle them out there, Im just going to write a little list of what i like :)

• House
• Scrubs
• Family Guy
• Sex and The City
• Mighty Boosh
• Two and a Half Men
• Will and Grace
• Friends
• KIng of Queens

That's all there is for the moment.....I've written some of these in my christmas list for my friends to buy, so will be happy to get them. Although I noticed when I was in Glasgow yesterday that the 4th season of House is out, oh how I itched to buy it!


Hugh Laurie is one of the main reasons I love House, I suppose it should be since he is Dr. House, but there is just something about his character that makes me laugh when I watch the episodes. Even though he is an older man, I find him somewhat charming and attractive, even though he may be a cold hearted man in the show...well thats how he shows himself isn't it.

As well as tv shows I like certain comedians, although it is not many so far

• Billy Connolly
• Lee Evans
• Bill Bailey
• Chris Rock

I have nearly all of Billy Connolly's dvds, two of Chris Rock's, one of Bill Baileys and I need to start collecting Lee Evans.

Autumn Is Here!

Photograph taken by myself, editted on Photoshop 7 :)

So yes the autumn is here, I smile as I kick the leaves as I walk through them. I look at the wonderful bright colours of the falling leaves. Surely the air is much colder and the darkness of the night set in much earlier. Although I dont let this get me down, because it means it will be christmas soon!

The Eventful Day of Broken Headphones and the Adventures of the Urinating Woman

As you can see my wonderful headphones broke, I was so gutted and in disbelief last night when it happened. All I was doing was taking the headphones from around my neck to place them on my head, but in the middle of the process all I heard was - SNAP! I looked at them.....and was like....no way!
Today was a trip to Glasgow, to go back to HMV to return my broken headphones and get new ones. Although I must admit when I was walking up to the train station in Kilwinning, I didnt expect to see a woman running from behind a wall to crouch down and pee right in front of my own eyes!At first I thought she was vomiting...then I realised she was peeing. I almost turned around to walk back, but then i decided just to walk with my eyes to the ground as there was a man behind me walking in the same direction. After the woman had finished relieving herself and went away, I spoke to the man about how shocked I was. I had a laugh saying that Im glad that I've seen worse on the internet, but his response to that was...'But you don't expect to see it in real life do you?'. Which is true I suppose.

Other than that, I had a good day at Glasgow...I bought some books from Waterstones, two paranormal fiction books and a book called 'The language of genes' by Steven Jones, I feel I need to improve my reading on more intellectual books..so this is a start. I also exchanged my headphones, the man was very nice about it and had a laugh about me going on how depressed I was at them being broken in a good humoured way.
Although anytime I'm in a game shop now, I keep eyeing up the xbox 360 and I really want to buy one......very unlike me, but it calls to me.

Oh while I'm typing away to you, I will show you a photo of the new hair....even though its no drastic change, but its purdy! :)

Do you like it?

Redhead No More

Yeah...I finally decided to dye my hair a different colour, since i've been dying my hair various shades of red since I was 15...with the occassional purple thrown in(but still looked red).
So tonight, I am no longer red......as I sit here with the dye in my hair ha ha.
You will see in a photo soon enough.....I can honestly say, Im using a colour I've never ever used before - hope you all like.

The obsession with weight?

I've been going to the gym, like for the past two weeks....so where in that equation can you gain 4pounds? I mean I didn't expect any miracle changes like dropping a stone in two weeks. A nice pound(lb) off my weight would be nice. Am I doing something wrong? I mean I dont believe in the cut out everything you eat kind of thing......I enjoy my food, I dont want to be obsessed that I feel guilty over eating a mini roll chocolate cake, I dont even eat alot of junk food...so I deserve to have a chocolatey treat.

Even in the disappointment, Im going to the gym to sweat my butt off.

The re-occurring back spasms...

Entering into the third week with this dull ache banding across my lower back, is becoming quite tedious. How was I to know that a bag I am so used to carrying would cause me so much strain on my back, that I can barely breathe when I struggle out of bed in the mornings. I may say that the spasms are slowly fading each week, but knowing me I can't keep myself at peace....will always do something to bring back the spasms again the next morning, hence why I sit here in the third week with my dull ache when it could have been gone a week ago.
I brought myself to square one a week ago when I decided that my back was feeling back to normal, of course I thought lets switch rooms with my younger sister. Not that I was thinking that my back would be under any strain...silly me. The few days suffering from the pain, I decided to visit the doctor...not something I would do so regularly. All they could advise for muscle strain was some pain killers and a visit to the gym to work my muscles into healing themselves....telling me something I already knew....I was hoping for at least a prescription of Co-codamol or something but nothing. Not focusing on the pain killers, I paid attention to the gym I have recently been attending to gain a healthier feeling for myself.

I noticed that the gym was helping my back, although that wasn't my purpose in going...as I have already mentioned, merely killing two birds with the one stone. While trying to help the muscles in my back, I have also been trying to lose a small bit of weight..although not a drastic ambition. People have been saying, 'oh you don't need to do that, you look just fine!', I am aware that I look fine but I don't feel comfortable in clothes that are becoming fairly snug on me. The tight clothes may appeal to others but I want to be able to breathe in my tops and feel comfortable, yes some tight tops are cool but not in the, 'I've put on weight kind of tightness'. So yeah....I don't want to be skinny or anything, I just want to tone up that's all....as I do enjoy my curves...the fragile stick thin look isn't sexually appealing in my nature....on me. Others can look fabulous with that look, I envy them yes, but its still not me.

To wrap it up, I hope that after this week that my back pain will go away, as I'm tired of feeling like an old lady in the morning

Delicious SkullCandy Headphones

I fell in love with these as soon as I seen their shininess on another person...how cool they looked! Usually I am not a materialistic person, but I felt the urge to buy these, the decision made in my mind!
Eventually I found them in HMV, even though they cost like £32.99 I wasn't deterred from buying my lovely funky headphones. They are a part of me now, even when Im not listening to music, they are usually around my neck like an accessory.
They are well worth the price, as they have very good sound, which someone like me needs...as I was born with partial hearing....headphones and all were sometimes a problem. The other good thing about these headphones, is that they fold away neatly in your bag so you dont even need to worry about them getting broken or crushed by the items in your bag!

They are well worth it...enough for me to show my love for them he he! :D

The first Hazo blog

Sitting here....words buzzing around my mind as I wonder what to write, as there is so much and so little to say.

I'm a 21year old girl, the average kind(nothing special). Im quite tall and have my hair dyed red and I have blue eyes(so now you have a vague description of me) . I go to University to study Psychology, although this doesnt mean that I automatically know how to analyse people, as many assume. Although I am a good listener and like getting to know people well.
Apart from University, I dont get up to many antics....I mainly pass time reading various different kinds of books, or watching funny tv episodes...or tv series like House, which is my favourite right now. I also visit DeviantART alot, as I use photoshop to make colourful photos which is much fun.

Right now Im stuck in the house, with back pain, i know it sucks having it at like 21, but I have it...so makes life a wee bit more painful, had it for a week and wish it would go away! But I will sit here and wonder what I can get up to......